Gluten Free Girl, You’re Fucking Busted!

What do the following three words have in common: “Breathe”, “Yes”, and “Lu”?

I had no idea you had celiac disease!

On bratfree we have a ball breaking on Mrs. Shauna James Ahern, a.k.a. the Gluten Free Girl, a.k.a. narcissistic fatass. Now I’m not making fun of anybody with the disease, I’m making fun of an annoying woman who happens to have this disease and writes her blog like a Whorelequin trash novel over the moon about herself and her Olympic Peninsula island idyll and managing to get knocked up at 42 branding and herself a hero. Oh yeah, and her husband is a cook who apparently is talented enough to keep the wheat gluten from his ham hock armed wifey, but not the butter or sugar. Anybody with a brain knows that after reading her beloved cookbook, somebody’s not playing with a full deck.

But I just want to tell you something Shauna, you fucked up. You know that promotional event you held on the Great Lawn in Central Park early last fall? You know you kind of publicly admitted that you held an event under the guise of a picnic that you kind of didn’t send in your paperwork and pay the fees that was required of you by the New York State Parks and Recreation department. Don’t worry my fellow honest New Yorkers, I’ve done my duty and reported her. I hope they could retroactively fine her fat Washingtonian ass, maybe that will force her to, I don’t know, go to the supermarket and buy frozen veggies and fruits from the produce aisle maybe? How about joining a gym to work off some of that stress that’ll hopefully come your way (say NO to food for once).

Q. What about in-person tours?

A. Bookstore readings are becoming antiquated, and particularly for a cookbook, it doesn’t seem too relevant. So we wanted to create a space where people could gather. We did a picnic in Central Park in New York , and everyone brought food.

On a Sunday afternoon in New York City, we had a picnic. We sent the invitation out into the air and then showed up. Who might be there? How many? We didn’t know.

Maybe a handful?

When we walked onto the Great Lawn, we saw a huge group of you, already talking and eating, becoming friends.

Gwyneth January 27, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Quick thing, Dianne… the picnic in Central Park was technically against park rules, as Shauna did it secretly so they wouldn’t have to buy the permit required for any picnic*. You may want to remove that reference, as she could be retroactively fined. I won’t talk about what a trashy move that was.

* From her “secret” e-mail about it: “We’re making this private because we found out we should probably have a permit, if this becomes a big group. Oops.”

Reply:

diannejacob January 27, 2011 at 4:00 pm

You have already stated your opinion, Gwyneth, so no reason to say more. I don’t think any park police are reading this post, so I’ll leave it here.