I’ve seen the Twatlight (LDS begone, ex-Mormons welcome)

And here I thought High School Musical and the Jonas Brothers were bad enough.

I hate Twilight (dodges pitchforks and torches). I hate the LDS and other such cults (Jehovah’s Witnesses, Pentecostals, Evangelists, Scientologists, the list goes on…). And most importantly I hate Stefenie Meyer. Anybody who puts Brigham Young University in the category of “quality higher education” needs a bullet in the back of the head.

There’s nothing that I can say that ALL of my fellow antis haven’t said, so I’ll just leave it at that. But if you ever come across The Book of Insanity- I mean Mormon- you’ll see DISTINCT parallels in Twilight and The Host. Smeyer must be channeling Child Molester Smith because this is undoubtedly her source material (don’t let her Regency classics name droppings fool you) considering she’s so uptight she’s never seen an R-rated flick, read a horror novel (or ANY contemporary novel for that matter), and thinks real vampires are sca-a-a-a-a-ary.

And worshiping the young, rich and ludicrously beautiful isn’t scary, Steffie?

But I digress (and blow chunks all over my PC).

This holiday season has been tough enough with the economy still in the doldrums (no matter what Obama says) and your screaming girl and gay brat (and even grown women) will be demanding some Twatlight merchandise bullshit. If they haven’t seen New Moan or own as many versions of the Twilight DVD as they can, bank on this, you’ll be loading up on more crap. Hell, even bootleggers like Emitations (http://www.emitations.com/twilight-jewelry.html) are jumping on the band wagon! But the scariest of them all was the Robert Pattinson (ugly motherfucker) panties- his disgusting mug is even on the inside of the crotch! http://robpattinson.blogspot.com/2009/10/so-so-wrong-robert-pattinson-panties.html

And people wonder why I’m militantly pro-choice…

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