And now a word on rubenesque romances…

And now a word on rubenesque romance novels…

(taps bullhorn)

TESTING! TESTING! 1-2-3! TESTING 1-2-3!

(feedback)

TO ALL MY FELLOW FAT GIRLS: RIPPED, SEXY MEN DO NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR EXISTENCE! I REPEAT: RIPPED, SEXY MEN DO NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR EXISTENCE! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I don’t know how publishers (only established print houses-POD, Ellora’s Cave, and other online shit do not count) get away with this.

CHA-CHING!

I withdraw my last comment… but not respectfully.

The wonderful thing about fiction is how situations that can be blown-up (literary license) are perfectly rooted in reality. Take Goong (The Royal Palace) as an example: retarded poor girl is classmate of the jackoff royal prince and ends up betrothed to him. Like in Pride and Prejudice, two people from entirely different backgrounds can find common ground and love through a series of trials and tribulations trying to keep them apart.

But they are a fit and attractive couple.

No way in hell would a sexy guy fall for a size 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, 10, 8, and even 6 girl! And vice-versa (to be fair). I have heard the most disgusting things from (predominantly middle-class white) men along the lines of, “If I’m kissing, hugging, or fucking a woman, and I grab some skin, if it’s more than one inch off the bone, I kick her fat ass out of the bed!” Horrific- but honest- and more importantly realistic.

Cellulite, muffin tops, saggy tits, bulges, stretch marks, and rolls are also a reality. So wannabe (and established) writers- especially in “romantica” BDSM- that doesn’t look too nice in a leather thong. So you can smooth, tone, and curve all you goddamn want. But remember this, the category “Amazon” stops at size 12 and 5’9″.

P.S. And if a ripped, sexy guy crosses your path he is probably a religious nut, a con-artist, abuser, thief, child molester, philanderer, uneducated, and unemployed. Or at the very best, a closeted gay man, in which case you’ve made a life-long friend! 😉

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s