Carson Kressley: the most annoying bastard in the world

Now before all you Oprah-fiends (I hate her and her cronies only slightly less than the GOP) scream homophobe, I hate Carson Kressley because he’s the most ANNOYING bastard in the world. He, Gok Wan, and the rest of the Queer Eye crew can go be gay as they please and may the universe bless them for it. That’s. Not. The. Point.

Now when South Park broke all over Queer Eye it was only a matter of time and I rank it one of their best parodies next to The Passion of the Jew and the infamous banned Scientology ep. among other things that tickle my rage: religiosity, Mel Gibson, Scientology, Tom Cruise, and cultish behavior overall. But in this country the biggest cult isn’t something that demands a tenth of your hard-earned cash (especially with the fuck up economy) every Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, it’s reality shows. The new religion of the 21st Century.

Now I already bashed on these goddamn things in a previous post but I left this gem to bitch and scream for a very special separate post.

How To Look Good Naked.

Tell me you’re not mad by those five little words. I dare you. Now I originally saw the commercial for it on one of the cable stations Mom was watching (and I NEVER watch Lifetime) and my jaw dropped. Has anybody ever heard of body dysmorphia, or body dysmorphic disorder Well the HBO doc Thin shows the more common (and accepted) forms of it, bulimia and anorexia. Overeating is also an eating disorder and a form of BDD, which is what Ruby has and it’s also killing her. We just don’t like to see it that way, and chalk up overeating and being fat as a form of weakness and laziness.

The women in HTLGN have BDD, and in most of the cases they are fat and need to lose the pounds and for that I suggest psychotherapy, meds (if necessary), and then you hit a medical doctor that is also a dietitian (they will educate you on diabetes first and foremost before anything else). Carson Kressley is NONE of those things. He’s just the gay fashion expert parleying to the corporations that want to sell ugly-ass plus-sized clothing and give bullfuck advice: a big purse will make your ass look smaller?

The second part of this horrific reality is that EVERY-FUCKING-BODY suffers from some kind of BDD. Grant you I’m only going on clips I saw on Oprah’s site, so humor me. They take a picture of the fucked-up woman in her underwear and cut off her head to conceal her identity (at first). Then they go on the street and ask people (of the woman’s age group, both genders) to guess what her size is. Now I didn’t know her size (they didn’t show the clip that said it) and I guessed it perfectly. Why you ask, well I’m not a fucking genius and I suspect that other women will as well, that’s because we’re fat (or formerly) and have been there.

Now these people believe that the woman is smaller than her actual size- going down to size 10 or 12- and you can see this poor bitch’s face lighting up. The picture isn’t retouched in any way, but the size 16 or 18 woman (who isn’t very tall) is flattered and starting to become relieved. I’m not relieved, and neither should you. People believe a size 16/18 is a size 10/12. Let me repeat that: people believe a size 16/18 is a size 10/12. Size 10/12 is the healthy, normal, and average size a woman should be. And yet men and women think that’s fat and ugly.

Recently Crystal Renn, the world’s premier plus-sized model (after Emme retired) did a photo shoot and went head-to-head with one of the size 0 regulars. To be fair to both women, keep these things in mind (that are PAINFULLY obvious) when you see the photos: 1) Renn has gone down to 177 lbs. (she yo-yos between 165 and 200+ she’s said it herself). 2) Both photos have been RETOUCHED (the size 0 looks about size 4, and Renn looks like an 8/10). 3) The outfits (that are identical) cover up the main problem areas: breasts, abs, ass, and tops of thighs.


I’m glad that horrid show is off the air. It’s only a short amount of time until The Biggest Loser implodes. The trainers are terrorists and have shamelessly made millions off of people’s misery. People, weight loss is a life-long battle. There’s no wins or certainties, you have no “ah-ha!” moment, it’s just you, your mind, and your fridge and what happens when these things collide. Like addicts, you’re in it for the long haul and an addict for life. Your train will run off the rails and expect to regain and relapse and break down along the way. It’s what assholes like Dr. Shill McTexas, Heidi Montag, every weight loss guru and “system” won’t tell you.

And certainly not Carson Kressley, especially when he has award shows to host, books to hawk, movies to guest in, and millions to stash.  


One thought on “Carson Kressley: the most annoying bastard in the world

  1. Thank you! Finally someone who thinks the same, I’m really amazed by all the people loving this shit. I really can’t stand that annoying, fake behaviour of him, and it amazes me how people see that manipulation as a good thing… I’m overweight myself, but I wouldn’t accept a million for him to “reform” me. Stay off the air!

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