Michael Jackson, Resurrected

Well my fellow reptiles, the Wacko Jacko Clan has done it again! And by that I mean generating more press (and thusly more dollars) by waving Michael’s shriveled corpse in front of a camera.

Four years ago Michael Jackson died of a drug cocktail consisting of propofol (a pre-anasthetic) and bennies (a.k.a. antidepressants- lorazepam). Now I avoid daytime TV like the fucking plague but on The Talk, panelists Sharon Osbourne and Sara Gilbert made a pair of realistic comments on the Jackson Clan taking li’l MJ’s GP Dr. Conrad Murray (serving a 4 year prison sentence) to court  for $40 billion dollars. Now both women come from celebrity backgrounds- Sara acting, Sharon metal- where drugs are simply part of the entertainment culture, so they have direct experience with drug use and/or those who use. A combination of inspiration, arrogance, privilege, boredom, and stress has invited the uses of pharmaceuticals as quick fixes. Gilbert was bombarded with Twats from rabid MJ fanfucks screaming their umbrage over their black-turned-white-quasi-Peter Pan idol, and today she backpedaled.

Way to go Darlene.

Why don’t we step into the Wayback Machine and zip back to 27 January 1984. Wacko Jacko was filming a Pepsi commercial in front of fans when a pyrotechnical effect misfired causing Mikey’s scalp and face to catch fire. Suffering 2nd degree burns he was scarred and had permanent nerve damage, not to mention the trauma of the injury. It was either at this time or his two previous nose jobs that Mike began his addiction to painkillers that opened the doors to other prescription drug abuse. Remember coke, weed, meth, and smack, the accepted drugs that stars abuse that turn up in red-topped newspapers aren’t the only ones. Judy Garland and Elvis were total pill freaks, enabled by family, friends, doctors, agents, and producers alike. You think Mikey was any different?

It’s a fact that the last two Jacksons that were solvent were Janet and Michael until the 1993 sex abuse allegations. Michael was more than likely financially supporting his siblings’ lifestyles. But the millions he raked in sales after his death was taken by record companies and creditors with little to spare even for his mother and kids who were handsomely provided for in his will leaving the bulk of his fortune to his charities. This, of course, didn’t sit well with those who expected a big payout, so they held up little brother’s burial for 10 days forcing for his estate to pay for not only MJ’s tomb in Hollywood Forever Cemetery’s private mausoleum, but for ALL THOSE JEHOVAH WITNESS ASSHOLES’ WALL PLOTS! And adding insult to injury, they forced the LAPD to provide a motorcade for the the Staples Center memorial that displayed an empty gold plated casket, but it was a time when the police department was suffering motherfucking cutbacks!

So what can we take from all this? A failed reality show, a ridiculous musical (that only ran in London’s West End), and a Dumb and Dumber kidnapping of Katherine and the kids couldn’t keep these big-headed assfucks afloat, now they have to resort to the talk show circuit and Court TV to kick a dying horse for sympathy and money. People, Dr. Conrad Murray is just one of thousands of Hollywood’s Dr. Feel Goods. If he didn’t procure for Mikey, someone else would have (and we all know that despite an agency “contracting” him on paper under shitpiles of legalese it was really Michael). And MJ had an entourage that wanted to stay in his good graces to get a piece of the action, Murray liked the money addicted starts gave him, and if anybody said “no” they were ignored, threatened, or removed.

Welcome to La-La land people. Careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

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CREDIT CARD FRAUD!

According to Murphy’s Law, anything that can possibly happen WILL happen. And it happened to us. CREDIT CARD FRAUD! Some asshole thought he was being cute and charged $7k of KLM plane tickets to our card that s/he lifted after I made a purchase at the Fair & White website. We never hit our limit, and it just so happens it went $97 dollars over our $8k limit on AmEx, and when I went to buy a $10 metrocard on an emergency, it rejected in the machine. We also got a suspicious statement that there was no payment due.

We called in a hot minute and the very nice customer service agent questioned us that our spending pattern was off (by the thousands) and when we confirmed that we didn’t know about any airline tickets they immediately stopped the card and is reissuing us a new one with a brand new statement that has the fraudulent charge off. Now we have to go through this whole hellfire of filling out an affidavit, waiting for official papers to come in, and a new card is coming in 10 business days. When it comes to fraud and the credit card companies, it’s never as easy as that (they are doing an investigation as we speak). So I told mom not to be shocked if she has to fork over the money if AmEx is unwilling to believe us. I know that the number could have been lifted by the usual sites we shop at which is Amazon and Sephora, but the dates according to the agent seem probable it was when I ordered from Mitchell Group Cosmetics (Fair & White’s parent company). Their site may be unsafe so avoid it like the plague.

If anybody has any advice, I’d really welcome it so feel free to drop a comment.