Butthurt, an hero? Fill this out in triplicate please.

From thom_c, a kick ass EMT from bratfree. Can be used on annoying breeders, trolls, dick coworkers, your significant other, spouse, soon-to-be divorced spouse, your parents, or anyone who thinks that their superiority complex is going to lead this world out of chaos. Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly.

Because your mommy and daddy always said YOUR feelings come first.

JoyBundle012, prepare to get your ass handed to you

JoyBundle012, prepare to get your ass handed to you.

I really like Twifucktards, their logic continues to blow me away. Y’see, unlike you I was taught that if you hate something it’s important to learn everything you can about it. For example, Hitler, his psycho manifesto Mein Kampf is required reading in some university classes. Do not be offended nor surprised if it’s on the reading list for a Jewish culture/history course. It’s important to know why there was a Holocaust, and where this kind of warped thinking came from. Now back to the Twifucking. If you’re childfree like me you are probably acquainted with the infamous breeder bingo card (here’s ver. 2.0). We anti-Twilighters should have a Twilight Twifucktard bingo card too, because these fangirl morons seems to spew the same shit over and over like a broken Mormon hymnal record (not that we don’t- but our spew makes perfect sense and we have all sorts of evidence to back it up). The most prevalent are:

1) Vampires could be anything- there’s no limit to the imagination.

2) They’re not real! It’s only fantasy!

3) You don’t understand these characters!

4) You don’t understand Stephenie Meyer!

5) You hurt Stephenie Meyer’s feelings!

6) You’re haters because you’re jealous that Stefenie Meyer can write 100 times better than you!

7) You’re haters because Stefenie Meyer is rich and famous- and you never will be!

8 ) You haters just like to bring everything and everyone down.

9) You only like to read gloomy and depressing things.

10) You act and think like old people! (Nuttymadam3575 called YomikistuneO a 40-year-old- SMeyer encourages piss-poor ideas about age. Thinking about what you missed out on, Molly Mormon? Don’t like yourself much Mrs. Hinckley wannabe? That logic also goes against Twilightmoms.com.)

11) You’re just fat and ugly that’s why you’ll never find an Edward/Jacob! (Wouldn’t anybody with a brain be glad they’re not in the market for an abusive lover?)

12) Okay, we admit Bella’s a little whiney (maybe Mary Sue-ish), but that doesn’t mean true love can’t be the plot of a novel. I mean, what are romance novels about- DUH!

And finally my favorite (and this is a direct quote from JoyBundle012):

13) “You know that your hatred and spiteful attitude towards Twilight… MAKES YOU A TWILIGHT FAN, RIGHT? …You don’t have to be pro-Twilight to be a fan of it. The fact that you make all these “Hate Twilight” things online makes you a pure fan of it. So congrats, your insatiable hatred towards Twilight has made you a fan of it ^_^ how’s it feel? how does it feel to be a fan of something you hate?”

Uh, does that sound a bit antagonistic (and psycho) to you? I thought so. It’s a defense mechanism of rabid fangirls of any hype that centers around an attractive male (Pattinson isn’t though). With that, JoyBundle012 prepare to suffer the butthurt! I know her little artwork is a month old, please check it out for the lulz or DL and American Graffiti that shit right up if you so choose. This was my comment:

“Actually that describes a Twifucktard- like you all! We antis hate this series because of its bad messages, religiosity, stereotypes of gender roles, and the fact that Smeyer got published because Time Warner (former parent company of Little, Brown, and Co.) took a hit after the Dot.com bust to the tune of $99 billion and would make them some money because of her “literary” tricks. And yet talented writers and artists who painstakingly research, EDIT, and WORK HARD will be told they aren’t marketable. The reason why we read them was to decipher why crap like this is such a trend. And now we know why. So we aren’t lagging in the hope department- you are (target demographic). You fangirl over crap like this because you interpret “protectiveness” and “(normal) jealousy” = “abusive, overbearing, manic-depressive stalker.” If you don’t believe me do a Google search on the term “Taken In Hand”. Twatlight is only the precursor to this lifestyle. We have hope in relationships (that aren’t with Mormons). There are plenty of mentally ill guys like your sweet Eddiekins that we know of and steer clear from.

Your logic fails!”

Please refer to the following sites to further understand what I’m talking about:

http://www.takeninhand.com/

http://aroundherfinger.com/women.html

Incidentally I find both lifestyles completely OUT OF BOUNDS! I am NOT a sex slave, and he shouldn’t be a BABY! I invite you to form your own opinions.

UPDATE!

As it turns out there are a pair of Twifucktard bingo cards:

http://mightysqueaks.wordpress.com/2009/08/12/stupid-twilight/#comment-93

AND

http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_sucks/318705.html