JoyBundle012, prepare to get your ass handed to you

JoyBundle012, prepare to get your ass handed to you.

I really like Twifucktards, their logic continues to blow me away. Y’see, unlike you I was taught that if you hate something it’s important to learn everything you can about it. For example, Hitler, his psycho manifesto Mein Kampf is required reading in some university classes. Do not be offended nor surprised if it’s on the reading list for a Jewish culture/history course. It’s important to know why there was a Holocaust, and where this kind of warped thinking came from. Now back to the Twifucking. If you’re childfree like me you are probably acquainted with the infamous breeder bingo card (here’s ver. 2.0). We anti-Twilighters should have a Twilight Twifucktard bingo card too, because these fangirl morons seems to spew the same shit over and over like a broken Mormon hymnal record (not that we don’t- but our spew makes perfect sense and we have all sorts of evidence to back it up). The most prevalent are:

1) Vampires could be anything- there’s no limit to the imagination.

2) They’re not real! It’s only fantasy!

3) You don’t understand these characters!

4) You don’t understand Stephenie Meyer!

5) You hurt Stephenie Meyer’s feelings!

6) You’re haters because you’re jealous that Stefenie Meyer can write 100 times better than you!

7) You’re haters because Stefenie Meyer is rich and famous- and you never will be!

8 ) You haters just like to bring everything and everyone down.

9) You only like to read gloomy and depressing things.

10) You act and think like old people! (Nuttymadam3575 called YomikistuneO a 40-year-old- SMeyer encourages piss-poor ideas about age. Thinking about what you missed out on, Molly Mormon? Don’t like yourself much Mrs. Hinckley wannabe? That logic also goes against Twilightmoms.com.)

11) You’re just fat and ugly that’s why you’ll never find an Edward/Jacob! (Wouldn’t anybody with a brain be glad they’re not in the market for an abusive lover?)

12) Okay, we admit Bella’s a little whiney (maybe Mary Sue-ish), but that doesn’t mean true love can’t be the plot of a novel. I mean, what are romance novels about- DUH!

And finally my favorite (and this is a direct quote from JoyBundle012):

13) “You know that your hatred and spiteful attitude towards Twilight… MAKES YOU A TWILIGHT FAN, RIGHT? …You don’t have to be pro-Twilight to be a fan of it. The fact that you make all these “Hate Twilight” things online makes you a pure fan of it. So congrats, your insatiable hatred towards Twilight has made you a fan of it ^_^ how’s it feel? how does it feel to be a fan of something you hate?”

Uh, does that sound a bit antagonistic (and psycho) to you? I thought so. It’s a defense mechanism of rabid fangirls of any hype that centers around an attractive male (Pattinson isn’t though). With that, JoyBundle012 prepare to suffer the butthurt! I know her little artwork is a month old, please check it out for the lulz or DL and American Graffiti that shit right up if you so choose. This was my comment:

“Actually that describes a Twifucktard- like you all! We antis hate this series because of its bad messages, religiosity, stereotypes of gender roles, and the fact that Smeyer got published because Time Warner (former parent company of Little, Brown, and Co.) took a hit after the Dot.com bust to the tune of $99 billion and would make them some money because of her “literary” tricks. And yet talented writers and artists who painstakingly research, EDIT, and WORK HARD will be told they aren’t marketable. The reason why we read them was to decipher why crap like this is such a trend. And now we know why. So we aren’t lagging in the hope department- you are (target demographic). You fangirl over crap like this because you interpret “protectiveness” and “(normal) jealousy” = “abusive, overbearing, manic-depressive stalker.” If you don’t believe me do a Google search on the term “Taken In Hand”. Twatlight is only the precursor to this lifestyle. We have hope in relationships (that aren’t with Mormons). There are plenty of mentally ill guys like your sweet Eddiekins that we know of and steer clear from.

Your logic fails!”

Please refer to the following sites to further understand what I’m talking about:

http://www.takeninhand.com/

http://aroundherfinger.com/women.html

Incidentally I find both lifestyles completely OUT OF BOUNDS! I am NOT a sex slave, and he shouldn’t be a BABY! I invite you to form your own opinions.

UPDATE!

As it turns out there are a pair of Twifucktard bingo cards:

http://mightysqueaks.wordpress.com/2009/08/12/stupid-twilight/#comment-93

AND

http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_sucks/318705.html

Twifuck fandom insanity

Today is the 30th anniversary of Miracle on Ice. We kicked so much Soviet ass in Lake Placid, the Golikov brothers’ skid marks are embedded into the boards at the Olympic arena. I’ll watch the games if they do a (PROPER) tribute to the team. Unfortunately we’re probably going to hear from the same three guys, Jim Craig (who is kind of annoying), Mike Eruzione, and Rob McClanahan. Maybe, just maybe Mark Johnson might give a soundbite or two considering he’s coaching the women’s hockey team, but he might be too busy. However it was cool to see during the Olympic build-up that Steve Janaszak, Mike Ramsey, Dave Christian, Jack O’Callahan, and Dave Silk come out and jump on the Miracle-lovefest.

Did you see what I just did? I fangirled! I just fangirled on the MOI team (and spent 3 crazy days DLing off Mininova the MOI USA-USSR game last year) and gave a balanced viewpoint on MOI players. A brainless fan would immediately attack me because I said Jim Craig- the golden goalie- is a little annoying. Have you seen his interviews? The dude is a true-blue salesman. He kind of gets repetitive. I’m sure that Gorman- his fucking manager- ensures that the questions are shallow in order for Jimmy to plug his motivational speaking business (does anybody know what the fuck that shit really is?) and charity to produce the same fucking reaction- flag waving. If you read Wayne Coffey’s book Boys of Winter he mentions right off the bat that “certain” players won’t even talk unless there’s a nice number with a dollar sign in front of it. The first three guys I mentioned probably clean up the best- with Jimbo making the most (a three-story colonial sitting atop 15 acres of land in Mattapoisett with an LDS kept wife who probably tithes like a motherfucker). Now I’m not going to be hypocritical- I like making money- and if it were Mark Wells I wouldn’t dare question it.

But SMeyer takes greed and egotism into the stratosphere bleeding the beast by charging autograph fees and holding her fucktard fanbase hostage because Breaking Dawn was the worst-received out of the abomination and the partial draft of Midnight Sun was leaked, being a complete unprofessional crybaby saying that she won’t write any more because her feelings were hurt. LBC should’ve sued her ass off just for the statement being made. Do you know how many manuscripts are being leaked onto the ‘net? Feature films and JKR have also fallen victim- yet they’ve moved on and made millions more despite it (or because of it).

In my last rants you know my stance concerning why SMeyer is a successful zagnut. Ultimately she’s a dumbass who’s business skills are just sharp enough to leak out her own work, say stupid shit (and not get in trouble for it), and most of all incite rage in her most devoted army of fan-assholes when somebody challenges Twifuck. I have no problem with fandoms. Fandoms are terrific forums for people to get together and have a blast about whatever they’re obsessing over. I’m an anime fangirl, a hockey fangirl, and a rock snob. I will counter your arguments with an argument of my own, but I’m not going to physically attack you because of it!

I think in the last 10 years or so, fandoms are becoming outlets for people with emotional problems, anti-social tendencies, and who are just plain mentally ill. Another valid argument is that with the rise of the Internet people are becoming less motivated to physically interact, depending on a proxy to prop up a fantasy self. This is the only reason why I would DL Surrogates. I mean Bruce Willis’ career is ringing its death knell, and the premise of android bodies being controlled through cyberbrain technology (think Ghost in the Shell: SAC) is pretty extreme, nevertheless philosophically feasible. Unfortunately these fuckwits who are so imbalanced and dissatisfied with themselves that they’re relegated to living in a fantasy world where their every whim is catered to by good-looking abusive men. And they will do any-fucking-thing to stay there.

I’m so glad that these celluloid abortions will send Stewart’s and Pattinson’s careers into the black hole of typecasting once the corporations have made their money and the fad dies (Power Rangers, anybody?). I mean they can’t really act, he doesn’t believe in regular bathing (and is ugly as fuck), she has a blank stare, and I think Lautner is tired of juicing and bad wigs. All in all I’ll still DL New Moan for the lulz and am going to figure out how to post some audio-only vids on YouTube (because I can’t get a fucking camera right now) to start breaking on shit.

Tprinces, ASmilingMalice, and shmeiliarockie have inspired me to venture outside.