Oh the wrath of the Twitard… can you see me laughing?

Well a few minutes ago I really wasted my time putting a Twifucktard by the name of Songsmirth (who I blocked) in her place. I don’t check my You Tube inbox for messages (but admit I was bored) and I got a couple, one from her and another Twifucktard. I don’t remember the screen name of the other (and she’s not important anyhow) because she just responded to a comment I made on an anti-Twifuck video stating she hated me. *SHRUGS* BUT I just couldn’t help it with Songsmirth.

This dumb bitch said she felt sorry for me being an angry person who likes to troll Twifuck videos and bash them. In her response to my comment she lashes out at me for my sarcastic attitude, and tries to dump all over me screaming at me demanding to know what great thing I accomplished so I could compete with Smeyer. If Songsmirth came to this blog (it’s listed on YT) I pretty much lay out the LITTLE I have accomplished, make fun of myself, my friends, my world, bitch, yell, scream, and critique (to my little black heart’s content) the idiocy of today’s pop culture (Lady Goo-Goo-Gaga is number two on my hit list BTW).

If you (Songsmirth and other Twifucktards who troll) are going to have an apoplectic fit over my sarcasm, I really don’t give a shit. I’ve been this way for 20 years (LITERALLY) and when my mom tried to rein me in, I told her I didn’t give a shit. The only reason why she backed off was because she knew she was making bad choices (regarding dad and not listening to us). And if you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic from the little page description up in the corner, then I don’t know what your problem is. I know these weapons are typical in the Twifucktard’s arsenal, but these obsessive-compulsive fanidiots can be disturbing… and they do get personal. The best defense is logic, and I have gotten loud with logic with regards to the Twifucktard on DA who tried to suggest that we antis are actually fans.

Now here’s another little (embarrassing) fact about yours truly: MTV’s Daria ran from ’97 to ’02. I didn’t get cable until the fall of ’02, but I didn’t see Daria until the VHS releases in 2000. This didn’t stop my friends in high school from nicknaming me “Daria” and I had no fucking clue (at the time) what they were talking about. I am a natural brunette who likes to wear her hair long and loose, I wear glasses (and at the time had these round black glasses), my GPA was 3.8 to 4.0 (told you I was a geek- but managed to get C’s in math and dropped physics altogether), and I was anywhere from sardonic to irreverent at any point of the day. I really was Daria without Tracy Grandstaff in the room.

Oh yeah before I close out, Tprinces is having a bit of a problem. It seems that this Twifucktard CONJOPI (or James Triston) flagged her review video “Twilight = Epic Fail” and YT took it down. He bragged openly saying he had it removed because he thought she was “unfunny and unoriginal”, and within her rights Tprinces raised hell. Unfortunately she can’t find the file to put it back up, so if anybody DLed it send a copy to her please. I consider it one of the best anti-Twifuck reviews, and it got a fuckload of hits. And check out the latest from WriterfromNowhere, apparently Smeyer has well and truly gone off the deep end… as if it couldn’t get any worse.

And one more thing, I wouldn’t compete with Smeyer if you paid off my family’s debt, gave me a million bucks with a title to a house on HK’s Peak, a full ride to HK University, and a job waiting for me at the New York Times Asia desk. I just enjoy breaking on her with my fellow antis, Twifucktards need not loiter here.

And don’t forget:

Yes I always wanted a man who wanted to keep me from my friends and family

Save me from my paper cut Eddiekins!

Even if he didn't smell, or do the damn sequels I'd still like to see him dead

When $95k isn’t enough…

I just tossed my Who Framed Roger Rabbit? VHS since I just got my Vista series (used) DVD ($10 bucks- bargain!).

Christmas ’89 was the last and best Christmas we had. Mom, Dad, and me stayed up ’til about 1 a.m. playing my brand new Scrabble game and watching two movies that had come out on VHS, Batman and the one just mentioned. The DVDs are impressive (SE box set for the Batman flicks) and I can’t wait to see the unrated WFRR (I only read the deleted scenes in my grade school adapted novel), but I really wanted to hang onto the tapes. For sentimental reasons.

Like a true hoarder.

My great-aunt’s house was just sold for $1,150,000. My Godfather (her nephew) bitched that he could’ve gotten more for it. I guess he doesn’t read the newspaper or watch the news or, y’know, go outside and talk to someone. Now there are 12 nieces and nephews in the will so they will each get $95k and some change- the look on my grandmother’s face said how she really felt about her cut (not to mention she got all of her aunt’s savings- so putting that with her savings, investments, miscellaneous assets, and how much our house is worth, I’d say a bit over $2 million).

I remember one of the last arguments my brother and grandma got into over the heat (we haven’t gotten any since late ’91) and he said, “If we paid you $3,000 rent would you give us heat?” She said it still wasn’t enough. I was brought up to revere the elderly, and I do. But there comes a point that they have no right to cross. We’re dependent on grandma because of what Dad did (and we never forget it because she reminds us almost daily) as well as uncontrollable economic forces that are set up to knock down and keep down the poor and now the middle class. So when we’re forced to use her credit card to purchase clothes, bed sheets, curtains, vitamins, etc. we can’t afford (along with extras including my brother’s PC sound system, flat screen, Star Trek: TNG boxed set, ps3, my psp, my DS Lite, my Wii, tons of DVDs, books, jewelry, and now my DSi) a $1k or $1,500 dollar bill shouldn’t bother her.

But it does.

It does so much that when we’re forced to use the washing machine by my great-grandmother house (which is now owned by Mom’s POS brother) because we can’t afford to buy our own (like we used to) she intends to make life difficult for us.

The woman is a hoarder- she hoards her mother’s house forcing her asshole son to buy it, and he does. And has no intention on fixing it up to rent out the apartments (he can’t talk to people- especially women). So it’s falling apart. No matter, when her aunt dies she hoards her kitchen ware, knick knacks, and some furniture in the house like a museum. My great-aunt left me her jewelry (which grandma wanted) but took a gold and diamond chip rose bangle that I loved, and my Godmother took her black and white cameo when the box came into my grandmother’s possession when she started to get sick. I, luckily, retained everything else- including my great-uncle’s emerald ring which I wear.

So now every time we do the laundry we wade through the crap and deal with it. We also make sure we replace the detergent, softener, and bleach since we wash the most. What we don’t do are other people’s laundry and cleaning. It’s not our house, nor our clothes, hence not our problem. What we were willing to do was put a recycling bag in the closet to collect the empty detergent bottles in and bring them up the block to our garbage cans since the asshole refuses to put out trash cans, and grandma doesn’t want trash bags sitting in front of the house (if you could see the logic, let me know).

The first time we did it, it went without a hitch. The second time everything seemed cool, then the bag vanished. I thought the asshole used it since he was starting to build a tool bench down in the basement. I let it go, and just put up another one (our recycling bags BTW). The second time it vanished that’s when I got pissed. The asshole had long abandoned his tool chest (boxes upon boxes of unopened parts have been laying around for nearly two years) so I knew grandma was taking the bags away. Okay, now you get fucked over.

So I instructed Mom and my brother to let the empty bottles to pile up on the little shelf beside the washer if the woman wants to play that game. And until recently it we did just that. So last week she comes up blustering about the inside hallway door being open. Now as I mentioned, the asshole refuses to fix up the house so the inside hallway door is made of 60-year-old wood and glass. If you slam it, it can break. If you don’t pull it closed where you could hear the lock engage, it will pop open. Now my brother and I will own up to the fact that, yes, we’ve committed this capital offense a few times. But in our defense if you’re lugging out huge piles of laundry and have to struggle with a crappy 50-odd-year-old glass and metal storm door and a crazy-ass impossible to lock/unlock front door, the last thing on you’re mind is checking to see if the inside door is securely shut.

But here’s a funny thing, we have found the inside door, basement door, and front door unlocked and/or open many times by both grandma and the asshole. In fact grandma is real Evel Knievel, she thinks that it’s perfectly okay to keep the front door unlocked…

Take that in for a minute.

Yeah.

So the next time she comes up screaming as why I’m not out of school yet, or why my brother isn’t in school at all, and why Mom might lose her job because the incoming department director is a dickhead and the NYS budget cuts will include the slashing of temps in health care and the hospital being shut down in 2013, she might want to consider forking over that $95k to pay for a lawyer to get our debts settled so we can have bank accounts again. Because $95k can go a long way if your vision wasn’t so short.

P.S. The storm door’s lower glass pane just split because of the cold and wind, and all the asshole has done was put a little masking tape over it.

Carson Kressley: the most annoying bastard in the world

Now before all you Oprah-fiends (I hate her and her cronies only slightly less than the GOP) scream homophobe, I hate Carson Kressley because he’s the most ANNOYING bastard in the world. He, Gok Wan, and the rest of the Queer Eye crew can go be gay as they please and may the universe bless them for it. That’s. Not. The. Point.

Now when South Park broke all over Queer Eye it was only a matter of time and I rank it one of their best parodies next to The Passion of the Jew and the infamous banned Scientology ep. among other things that tickle my rage: religiosity, Mel Gibson, Scientology, Tom Cruise, and cultish behavior overall. But in this country the biggest cult isn’t something that demands a tenth of your hard-earned cash (especially with the fuck up economy) every Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, it’s reality shows. The new religion of the 21st Century.

Now I already bashed on these goddamn things in a previous post but I left this gem to bitch and scream for a very special separate post.

How To Look Good Naked.

Tell me you’re not mad by those five little words. I dare you. Now I originally saw the commercial for it on one of the cable stations Mom was watching (and I NEVER watch Lifetime) and my jaw dropped. Has anybody ever heard of body dysmorphia, or body dysmorphic disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder? Well the HBO doc Thin shows the more common (and accepted) forms of it, bulimia and anorexia. Overeating is also an eating disorder and a form of BDD, which is what Ruby http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_(TV_series) has and it’s also killing her. We just don’t like to see it that way, and chalk up overeating and being fat as a form of weakness and laziness.

The women in HTLGN have BDD, and in most of the cases they are fat and need to lose the pounds and for that I suggest psychotherapy, meds (if necessary), and then you hit a medical doctor that is also a dietitian (they will educate you on diabetes first and foremost before anything else). Carson Kressley is NONE of those things. He’s just the gay fashion expert parleying to the corporations that want to sell ugly-ass plus-sized clothing and give bullfuck advice: a big purse will make your ass look smaller?

The second part of this horrific reality is that EVERY-FUCKING-BODY suffers from some kind of BDD. Grant you I’m only going on clips I saw on Oprah’s site, so humor me. They take a picture of the fucked-up woman in her underwear and cut off her head to conceal her identity (at first). Then they go on the street and ask people (of the woman’s age group, both genders) to guess what her size is. Now I didn’t know her size (they didn’t show the clip that said it) and I guessed it perfectly. Why you ask, well I’m not a fucking genius and I suspect that other women will as well, that’s because we’re fat (or formerly) and have been there.

Now these people believe that the woman is smaller than her actual size- going down to size 10 or 12- and you can see this poor bitch’s face lighting up. The picture isn’t retouched in any way, but the size 16 or 18 woman (who isn’t very tall) is flattered and starting to become relieved. I’m not relieved, and neither should you. People believe a size 16/18 is a size 10/12. Let me repeat that: people believe a size 16/18 is a size 10/12. Size 10/12 is the healthy, normal, and average size a woman should be. And yet men and women think that’s fat and ugly.

Recently Crystal Renn, the world’s premier plus-sized model (after Emme retired) did a photo shoot and went head-to-head with one of the size 0 regulars. To be fair to both women, keep these things in mind (that are PAINFULLY obvious) when you see the photos: 1) Renn has gone down to 177 lbs. (she yo-yos between 165 and 200+ she’s said it herself). 2) Both photos have been RETOUCHED (the size 0 looks about size 4, and Renn looks like an 8/10). 3) The outfits (that are identical) cover up the main problem areas: breasts, abs, ass, and tops of thighs.

THIS IS TOTAL AND COMPLETE BULLSHIT!

I’m glad that horrid show is off the air. It’s only a short amount of time until The Biggest Loser implodes. The trainers are terrorists and have shamelessly made millions off of people’s misery. People, weight loss is a life-long battle. There’s no wins or certainties, you have no “ah-ha!” moment, it’s just you, your mind, and your fridge and what happens when these things collide. Like addicts, you’re in it for the long haul and an addict for life. Your train will run off the rails and expect to regain and relapse and break down along the way. It’s what assholes like Dr. Shill McTexas, Heidi Montag, every weight loss guru and “system” won’t tell you.

And certainly not Carson Kressley, especially when he has award shows to host, books to hawk, movies to guest in, and millions to stash.