Well asshats, here it is…
I’M 30 TODAY!!!!
Yeah I’m yelling it from the rooftop of my railroad house: I am 30.
But I’ll be honest, I’ve always hated my birthday. Why you ask, well, I’m forced to share it. My once size 6 mother blew up like a whale back in in late ’79/’80 and because of my idiotic father they moved into a slum so she got toxemia and I was delivered (via C-section) 1-1/2 months early (7/6 was the original due date. Mom’s 56 today and my brother will be 24 on 5/20 (correct due date).
But also my Godmother Sadie just died a few hours ago. A fat and happy lawyer living it up in Miami is dead at 52. I wasn’t close to the woman (and she moved out to Florida back in ’89 to attend law school, but she ruined her own health. She was fat, hypoglycemic (I had that), was prone to getting colitis (got a colostomy bag because of it), and uncontrollable hypertension (for the past 4 years). There was no need for this to happen. Then yesterday she got a (ischemic) stroke, the docs worked on her brain, and had she lived she would’ve ended up like another Terry Schiavo (and I’m in favor of euthanasia).
Her father is still here while her mom is in Miami with her brother Jack and his wife Janine. There’ll be a small service after the cremation and her ashes will be spread near her law school. More than likely grandma will push a card on Aunt Lorna (Sadie was mom’s first cousin) and I’ll sign it. But I’m not mourning, I can’t. She had everything: a great job, she went on vacation, a great condo, but she shitted it away because she couldn’t stop stuffing her face (her insurance was ending in June and she hadn’t worked in three years).
Ciao Aunt Sadie.
Happy Birthday to me.